Through My Eyes

Each person has a heart…

a heart that is beating.

Traveling down the road I looked around at all the cars and saw hearts…

beating.

The rain began to fall in just a pitter patter beat as the beat of the hearts all around me.

What if they all stopped?

Major chaos on the highway, everywhere, every life taken? Guess it wouldn’t matter then, huh?

But what if just one stops?

Major chaos in the hearts of those whose hearts beat closest to them.

Questions, sorrow, turmoil, regret…

all with the silence of a rhythm.

Even so…when a heart starts to beat just 5 weeks old in the womb,

a new rhythm has joined the chorus of the beat around the world.

A soul has entered and with a single beat joy is spread.

When your heart is tight, your hands clenched in tight fists, your jaw is set and stubborn…

let go.

When sorrow fills your heart, your arms wrapped around yourself as if to bar the pain, and your chin quivers…

let go.

When hurt cloaks your heart, hands on hips to defend, mouth set to defy…

let go.

Let go of the anger, the sorrow, the hurt. Let your heart melt, flow with tears, forgiveness cleanse.

Open your hands to receive, extend your arms to hug, fold your hands to pray.

Bow your head in submission, curve your lips to smile, sing.

When your heart is full to the brim with happiness, hands relaxed, humming…

let go.

When your heart is beating out a tune, hands are busy, face is smiling…

let go.

When love wraps your heart with a bow, arms embrace, eyes aglow…

let go.

Let go of happiness and love, let it flow from you to others.

Let your hands be gentle and quick to do good.

Give of yourself, rejoice, surrender.

Let go.

Wow, I was nominated by a very dear friend for the Versatile Blogger Award…so, I looked it up to see what that means and this is what I found at The Versatile Blogger Award website.

“If you are nominated, you’ve been awarded the Versatile Blogger award.

• Thank the person who gave you this award. That’s common courtesy.
• Include a link to their blog. That’s also common courtesy — if you can figure out how to do it.
• Next, select 15 blogs/bloggers that you’ve recently discovered or follow regularly. ( I would add, pick blogs or bloggers that are excellent!)
• Nominate those 15 bloggers for the Versatile Blogger Award — you might include a link to this site.
• Finally, tell the person who nominated you 7 things about yourself.”

Alright, so…thank you so much DeeDee!!! Wow, what an honor! DeeDee blogs over at Perfect Puddles and has also started a 365 blog~With Reverence. She is a good friend that I met through interior design school and has another great blog about houses here.

And I’m not really sure how this part works because I would also nominate her blogs =). So I guess that would make 1, 2, and 3 of my 15 blog/blogger list.

So to continue this list of blogs that I follow regularly and nominate for the Versatile Blogger Award read on…

4. Words of Life

5. Something Sage

6. Fresh Appreciation

7. Stir It Up

8. Clear Angle

9. A Journey to True Freedom

10. Aunt Red’s Adventures

11. Crooked Stream

12. Just ‘Cause

13. Emilie Almhager

14. Lena Blonsky

15. Loppelilla

Hmm…seven things about me…

1. I’m left handed.

2. I’m getting very close to doing my final for my Associates in interior design…can’t wait! Well, I can’t wait until I’m finished and seeing the way I just worded that, I obviously realize I’m still a ways away from saying, “I’m close to completing.” ;)

3. I love to try to remember to stop and take in and enjoy those simple moments that happen throughout the day. Life is way too busy, too hectic, too something to miss out on those. And though I’m learning…I still forget to do that.

4. I’m trying to learn to be smarter than my camera, but I love my camera and hope to do it justice someday.

5. I am taking glass blowing classes and am totally in love with them!

6. I love to travel, see new places, breathe new moments…but I also love to be home. Someday…I want to see Seattle ~up close.

7. My Savior loves me. To Him I owe my everything. And I hope to create beauty and touch people with art and words from gifts He has given me.

Me. Glass. Reflection or no reflection?

Okay let me clarify…

I was thinking about me today. Actually for those who know me…you know I tend to analyze and sometimes think too much (and sometimes not enough). Anyway…I was thinking about how God sees my heart. The nastiness and impurity that tends to always reside there and needs constant cleansing. It can get overwhelming at times thinking of all the dross in my heart, where I am, where I want to be. Down on myself for the anger that just rose up, the critical spirit, the complaining spirit.

That’s when I saw this illustration…

We all know what it is like to look through a window, a pane of glass. You can do two things ~ adjust your eyes to focus on the reflection your face is making on the glass, or look through the glass to what is beyond. Its just a matter of focus right? So, with that in mind…let’s say the window is the buffer between us and God. If we get focused on our reflection we see all our ugliness, problems, issues.

BUT…if we focus through the glass we see God. If we see the glass as Christ~ He, God, looks back through the love of His Son on us covered by Christ and sees clean and beautiful and pure.

Sometimes its just a matter of how we focus.

The sky is blue, the sun is warm, the breeze is cool. We walk along the shoreline.

The birds call, they fly, they soar, they swim, they lift off with ease. They have no idea I gaze at them in awe of their ability. Their grace and ease of rising above, of soaring high.

As we walk we talk and ponder and life simple lessons show themselves along the way.

A broken shell…could be looked at two ways. One good, one bad. To break a protective mechanism we build around ourselves needs to be broken. To have a shell around us that is a facade we hide behind is dangerous. But on the flip side, we need to be strong, we need our armor, we need to fight off darts from the enemy.

I know this isn’t a pretty picture…but do we let scavengers eat at us, leaving nothing but a skeleton of who we are? Do we listen to voices that aren’t true? Do we get caught up in the gnawing pain of bitterness, negativity, self-pity?

I’m not sure what kind of shrubs these were…but their roots are above the sand. The branches bleached from the sun…hmm…we need roots firm and deep to give us the strength we need to withstand the heat of life.

Do we look for white treasures among the dirt and rock? Where is our focus?

I love this tree…it stands strong, alone, like a whole life example all in itself.

Life lessons…they are everywhere. If we will just look and take heed.

I am very thankful today.

Yesterday my brother and his family were in a car accident. Even though when he called us, I knew he and my sister-in-law and my nephew were pretty good…they were on the way to the hospital to be checked out, but I knew they were going to be okay…I still started shaking. And tearing up. All the what-ifs in the book came to my mind in the blink of an eye…a very moist one.

This morning it hit me again when I saw the pics of the wreck. Tears came fast, my heart beat a little faster, and a humble gratitude burst through my heart to the Father of all. Thank you that they are alive, and at home. Thank you that the text message I’m about to send to my brother is going to reach him.

And then he called me and we chatted and more tears flowed and a brother and a sister rejoiced together and hung onto the moment that could have so easily been gone forever and never happened.

But the real reason for this post is to share with you the story that he told me that made my heart swell with thankfulness and pride and that puzzlement of family bond that defies the very strength of metal.

My brother related to me the vivid thoughts he had before and during the accident. Angels were covering all three of them. I can see them in my minds eye…moving around quickly, powerfully, protected…one grabbing the wheel with my brother to guide the car as far away as possible as the thought went though his mind “I have to get Kim and Blake away from this guy.” Another wrapping itself around my 10 month old nephew sheltering and protecting his little body, and another around my sister-in-law who in her words said, “I don’t even think I felt the impact, like I was being hugged and protected when it happened.”

Right after they were hit my brother jumped out of the truck and ran around to the passenger side where my nephew was in their crew cab truck. He didn’t care about himself, his sole thought was about his son. As he approached the door he saw a t-post about 6 inches from the door barring his entrance. Now my brother is a strong guy, but he bent that post over as if it was nothing. Where does that kind of strength come from in those moments anyway? The door was locked so he reached for the lock in the front passenger door and with one frantic motion he had my nephew wrapped in his big fatherly arms.

It was a beautiful example of a father’s love…how he would go through anything to get to his son, to protect, to love, to cherish, to save….kind of reminds me of another Father.

I love you Jesse, Kimberly, and Blake!

So…I’m listening to the soft falling rain outside my window…anybody noticing a pattern here? I tend to be more apt to write when it is raining…what is up with that? Anyway…the rain is falling quite nicely outside my window. My sister just told me about a new favorite guitar player so I’m also listening to him. In the cloudy “gray is falling” kind of afternoon the lights are on giving that warm welcoming glow. The mocha I just sipped is still wafting its sweet aroma around my room. Just a little bit ago I returned from a shopping trip to town with my Mom. I always like going out with her. Have ever since I was little and I suspect I always will.

Among other things on my list I needed to get a calendar and a journal.

Not just a calendar, but a planner for 2012 coming up in just not very long. I’m a list maker, and a journaler ~ though I’ve been laxing on that last one ~ and I write everything down in my planner.

As I browsed the shelves for something I wanted to write in for the whole of next year I could feel a bit of anticipation mounting. I admit starting with a fresh calendar excites me. I’ve always loved going through my old past planner and placing important dates in the new one. Its kind of a time to reflect over the year and wonder about the next.

What will it bring? At the end of 2012 what will this book have in it? Happy events? Sad events? Days I wish I could stretch to last the whole year? Some I wish I could skip or blot out completely?

So I made my choice…a nice cheerful blue leather one…a bit of a splurge actually.

And when I got home I noticed the label…

“The Color of Imagination”…I kind of like that.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just fold our past days up in an old planner and begin fresh and new?

So thankful that in Christ we can! That each day is new in Him. That He is a God of new beginnings and fresh starts.

And so as I begin yet another volume of my life here in this new journal…

I hope that I can keep things fresh and new with a different and interesting perspective and excitement for what is coming next to be penned on those pages of my life.

Hoping that each of you will have a daily planner full of joy. That the happy days will last long and the sad ones will move quickly and over all a sense of peace reigns supreme.

It was a gray day in November, not too cold, but with a definite hint in the wind that winter was coming.

I sat at a table in a deli eating lunch. A woman walked in and also sat alone. Occasionally she looked out the window with an expression on her face that was hard to interpret…dreamy, longing, sad, smiling…those could have been used to describe her eyes as flitting memories passed through her mind or was it an internal conversation?

As if she read my mind she engaged me in conversation… “Have you ever had lunch with a friend across the street?”

“I would like to have her here today. I’d tell her how much I miss her. That her sons are doing well with family’s of their own. She would be so proud of her grandchildren…one is even named for her and another one for me.” She smiles warmly as if the connection made her happy.

I watched her face a little confused, but not wanting to break through and invade her thoughts too much.

She went on now as if more for my benefit, “She was such a great friend. She taught me a lot about being a friend.” Her eyes go wistful again…”haven’t met anyone like her and probably never will. She was in my life at the perfect time…I miss her.”

And then as if I should know exactly who and what she was talking about ~ “Her last words were that she loved me.”

Looking straight into my eyes she said, “Do you realize how important that is? For people to know you love them? Please remember this…anyone could be snatched away at any time, make sure you have said what needs to be said. Spend time with those you love. Make sure they know all is well with you and that you love them. Be quick to forgive wrongs, and be slow to anger.”

She smiled right through me as if I wasn’t even there. Somehow I don’t think she expected an answer but the puzzled look on my face must have caught her eye, cause she gave a little laugh and looked out the window again. This time I followed her gaze trying to see if I could see what in the world she was talking about.

And suddenly all questions were cleared…it was a cemetery.

*…I think I need to clarify something with this writing…I am the woman who was talking about her friend. And the other lady writing from her perspective is also me. I just wrote it in this form because I thought it spoke what I was trying to say a little better. I apologize for the confusion.

I get so caught up with this and that, I

forget…

to stop and listen.

to treat others better than myself.

to notice the simple things and

enjoy…

a fleeting moment.

a smile.

a hidden joy.

And sometimes I need to

let go…

of the things that I can’t change.

of trying to be perfect on my own.

of things that make me feel

inadequate…

insecurities.

selfishness.

my own opinions and I need to

surrender…

to Christ.

I went out to try to capture the beauty of the golden orb gracing autumn with its warmth. In the front near the barn, the cottonwood catches some of the first morning rays and is quickly emblazoned a tree of gold.

Sometimes the distance is breathtaking, sometimes the details…

Walking back to the house I had to capture a few other things that caught my eye…like…reflections…

Love this shot of our little creek, that I’m so thankful returned after its absence all summer.

And a glimpse of splendor through the trees…

I love autumn.